OversteerJohn NelsonUgh. This must be how the Romans felt when the barbarians were at the gates. Or maybe it's more like my grandparents' reaction when my mom started diggin' Gene Vincent. Surely the apocalypse is neigh.
Civilization survived the advent of rock 'n' roll, at least according to some, and the Romans...we'll leave them out of this. I'm checking out a car magazine. At least I think it's a car magazine. It has a lime-green '88 Caprice on the cover. Said vehicle is perched upon 30-inch chrome rims, hovering a good 3 feet off the ground, no doubt aided by the winglike Lambo-style rear doors. This creation's approach is heralded by a sextet of chrome air horns jutting from under the front bumper...the last trumpets, perhaps?
In the vernacular, this type of vehicle is known as a Box. Do it to a later Caprice, and you've got a Bubble. Desecrate an early Impala in this manner, and you've got yourself a Donk. I'm not sure why someone would turn a perfectly good Chevy into a pseudo four-by and give it a silly name (I thought that's what SUVs were for), but I'm over 30 and certainly not to be trusted to render an opinion.
The feature on Big Bird, an appropriately colored '84 Caprice sitting on pathetically undersized 24-inch wheels, asks "Can you tell me how to get the Hooptie St?" My answer is brought to you by the letters that spell out, "Hell no!" and the number eight. Oscar the Grouch would be proud.
My position on such issues has been, "If you buy it, you can do whatever you want with it." And if you're gonna set your Scarface-themed '78 Caprice several feet off the ground, it probably actually needs sidebars. There's plenty of good ol' free enterprise going on here, too. How else would you explain a Cheetos-orange '77 Impala outfitted with 30-inch rims, the aforementioned flip-up doors, and a Chester Cheetah logo on the seat?
It's not my style, of course, but that's the point. I'm not supposed to get it. I do get that guys are putting time and effort into their cars, and I dig that part of it. Then again, I've got a Camaro that needs paint. I'm sure I can fit 22s under it, and maybe Ben & Jerry's would be willing to make a deal...
Thanks, Oldbogie!If you regularly visit our message board at chevyhi performance.com, then the name oldBogie should stand out. While we do our best to respond to questions in a timely manner, oldBogie has taken it upon himself to answer various questions with in-depth technical information that really opens your eyes. Think we're joking? If your question happens to be one that he responds to, you'll be grateful that he did. Hey oldBogie, be sure to write in at chevyhi@primedia.com with your address, we have some cool CHP swag to send you! -HD
Pacific Street Car Assoc. Announces'07 ScheduleWant to see the fastest street cars on the West Coast? Then be sure to log onto pscaracing.com for the latest happening and up to date race reports! For more information, log on to pscaracing.com
Feb 16-189th Annual Mickey Thompson Tires Winternationals Presented by Brant Racing Ent.The Strip at LVMS, Las Vegas, NVwww.lvms.com
March 16-18Orme Bros. Inc. Spring Break Shootout Presented by California Research TabulationsCalifornia Speedway, Fontana, CAcaliforniaspeedway.com
April 27-29Deeds Performance Las Vegas Nationals Presented by Lawless EnginesThe Strip at LVMS, Las Vegas, NVlvms.com
May 18-20Borla Performance Exhaust California Shootout Presented by Chris Alston's ChassisWorksCalifornia Speedway, Fontana, CAcaliforniaspeedway.com
Aug 3-5Extreme Speed West Coast Shootout Presented by Si ValvesCalifornia Speedway, Fontana, CAcaliforniaspeedway.com